Remove blame for daughter's diagnosis?


Question from foreverforu: My best friend's daughter has breast cancer. This lovely woman blames herself for her daughter having been diagnosed with the disease in the first place—"What did I do wrong when raising her?" How can I tell her it's not her fault? Thank you.
Answers - Marisa Weiss, M.D. Why is it that women always blame themselves for what happens to the people they love? I think all of us feel this woman's pain. She is not responsible for her daughter's illness! Her concern for her daughter shows how much she loves her. And, raising a child with such love is the essence of her strong connection with her daughter. This mom needs to shift her thinking, and at this point, support her daughter, encourage her, be with her, and as a family, help her become as healthy as possible. And I think that if this mother's guilt continues, she really deserves compassionate counseling immediately.

On Wednesday, June 14, 2000, our Ask-the-Expert Online Conference was called Easing Breast Cancer Fears. Marisa Weiss, M.D. answered your questions about managing emotional effects of breast cancer diagnosis and treatment.

The materials presented in these conferences do not necessarily reflect the views of Breastcancer.org. A qualified healthcare professional should be consulted before using any therapeutic product or regimen discussed. All readers should verify all information and data before employing any therapies described here.

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