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Support for husbands?

Page last modified on: May 27, 2009

Question from jef: My wife has just been diagnosed. They want to do chemo prior to surgery because of the size (8 cm). How common is it to do chemo first? I feel like my guts are being torn out. I want to be positive and strong for her. Are there support groups specifically for the husbands?

Answers —Rosalind Kleban, L.C.S.W.: The first thing I would recommend is a book called Breast Cancer Husband by Marc Silver. He has interviewed many partners and talked about their responses and the ways in which they learned to be helpful. Having chemo before surgery is called neoadjuvant therapy and is quite common for exactly the reason you mention.

Mitch Golant, Ph.D.: I would also recommend a couple of things. There's an organization called Men Against Breast Cancer: Caring About the Women We Love. There are support groups for men, and it seems like a really good idea to consider them. There are groups like that at the Wellness Community, your local cancer center, Gilda's Clubs, etc. (not knowing where you live to help you figure that out).

Editor’s Note: You can also read past transcripts of our conferences with Rosalind Kleban and Marc Silver:

On Wednesday, April 29, 2009, our Ask-the-Expert Online Conference was called Managing Fear and Anxiety. Mitch Golant, Ph.D. and Rosalind Kleban, L.C.S.W. answered your questions about dealing with fear and reducing the stresses that can accompany breast cancer.

The materials presented in these conferences do not necessarily reflect the views of breastcancer.org. A qualified healthcare professional should be consulted before using any therapeutic product or regimen discussed. All readers should verify all information and data before employing any therapies described here.

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Meet the Experts

Mitch Golant, Ph.D. is a health psychologist and senior vice president of research and development for the national office of The Wellness Community, which provides free psychological and emotional support to help people with cancer on their path to recovery. His research focuses on the benefits of online and community support groups for women with breast cancer.

Rosalind Kleban, L.C.S.W. is administrative supervisor for psychosocial programs at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center's Lauder Breast Center in New York City, where she leads weekly support groups for women with early and advanced breast cancer.