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How to deal with fears at night?

Page last modified on: May 27, 2009

Question from Tabitha: I'm pretty good about keeping myself occupied and surrounded by friends during the day, but nighttime gets lonely and is usually followed by nightmares. Dating to find a soul mate seems out of the question at this point. Any suggestions?: Answers —Rosalind Kleban, L.C.S.W.: What we really need is a support group at 2 in the morning. That is clearly the time when it is hardest to protect yourself from the very normal terrors. Probably the best thing I can say is that old cliché that with time, things will get better.; Mitch Golant, Ph.D.: One of the great values of the Internet and online support groups is that they provide an environment where you can be with others going through what you're going through at any time of the day or night. In fact, organizations like Cancer Care in New York, as well as The Wellness Community (there are others) have online support groups that are provided at no charge. In these groups you have the opportunity to give and receive support at any time day or night. The Web sites are www.cancercare.org and www.thewellnesscommunity.org. There's also www.Breastcancer.org, of course.; Rosalind Kleban, L.C.S.W.: Let's address the issue of finding a soul mate, which is always a daunting task and certainly it feels more so after a diagnosis. This is another area where support groups are helpful. Many books address the question. The organization Young Survival Coalition at www.youngsurvival.org addresses this issue and their online chat room keeps a dialogue about this, which is helpful. In my 20 years I have happily witnessed the marriage of many patients and the birth of many children, all following a diagnosis.

On Wednesday, April 29, 2009, our Ask-the-Expert Online Conference was called Managing Fear and Anxiety. Mitch Golant, Ph.D. and Rosalind Kleban, L.C.S.W. answered your questions about dealing with fear and reducing the stresses that can accompany breast cancer.

The materials presented in these conferences do not necessarily reflect the views of breastcancer.org. A qualified healthcare professional should be consulted before using any therapeutic product or regimen discussed. All readers should verify all information and data before employing any therapies described here.

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Mitch Golant, Ph.D. is a health psychologist and senior vice president of research and development for the national office of The Wellness Community, which provides free psychological and emotional support to help people with cancer on their path to recovery. His research focuses on the benefits of online and community support groups for women with breast cancer.

Rosalind Kleban, L.C.S.W. is administrative supervisor for psychosocial programs at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center's Lauder Breast Center in New York City, where she leads weekly support groups for women with early and advanced breast cancer.