What to do about feelings of jealousy?

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Question from gloomy: Sometimes I feel very jealous of people my age (37) who are healthy and seem to have a wonderful life. Their kids are carefree and their marriages seem perfect. I never want to go to parties or the kids' school events anymore, so I don't have to be reminded of everything I've lost that other people still have. My family is losing patience with me.
Answers - David Spiegel I would say that I can understand the feeling of jealousy, but again it sounds to me like an unwillingness to accept what has happened. By nurturing your jealousy, you could change positions with these people. What you are really doing is punishing yourself and your family, and depriving yourself of the joy and pleasure of their company in a way that even the cancer isn't doing. So I would say don't give up any more in your life than the cancer forces you to.

The Ask-the-Expert Online Conference called Feelings about Breast Cancer featured David Spiegel, Ph.D. and moderator Marisa Weiss, M.D. answering your questions about the emotional effects of breast cancer diagnosis and treatment.

Editor's Note: This conference took place in October 2000.

The materials presented in these conferences do not necessarily reflect the views of Breastcancer.org. A qualified healthcare professional should be consulted before using any therapeutic product or regimen discussed. All readers should verify all information and data before employing any therapies described here.

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