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What to do about feelings of jealousy?

Page last modified on: August 18, 2008
Question from gloomy: Sometimes I feel very jealous of people my age (37) who are healthy and seem to have a wonderful life. Their kids are carefree and their marriages seem perfect. I never want to go to parties or the kids' school events anymore, so I don't have to be reminded of everything I've lost that other people still have. My family is losing patience with me.
Answer —David Spiegel, Ph.D.: I would say that I can understand the feeling of jealousy, but again it sounds to me like an unwillingness to accept what has happened. By nurturing your jealousy, you could change positions with these people. What you are really doing is punishing yourself and your family, and depriving yourself of the joy and pleasure of their company in a way that even the cancer isn't doing. So I would say don't give up any more in your life than the cancer forces you to.

On Wednesday, October 18, 2000, our Ask-the-Expert Online Conference was called Feelings about Breast Cancer. David Spiegel, Ph.D. and moderator Marisa Weiss, M.D. answered your questions about the emotional effects of breast cancer diagnosis and treatment.

The materials presented in these conferences do not necessarily reflect the views of breastcancer.org. A qualified healthcare professional should be consulted before using any therapeutic product or regimen discussed. All readers should verify all information and data before employing any therapies described here.

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Meet the Experts

David Spiegel, Ph.D.David Spiegel, Ph.D. is professor and associate chairman of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Stanford University School of Medicine.

Marisa Weiss, M.D. is a radiation oncologist specializing in breast cancer and the founder, president, and guiding force behind Breastcancer.org.

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