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How to ask husband for space?

Page last modified on: August 18, 2008
Question from coping: I am dealing with this and I want my husband to just give me some space, he won't leave me alone! What do I do?
Answers —David Spiegel, Ph.D.: Some of it may be just communication. He may either be anxious or feel guilty if he leaves you to your own devices. Maybe in a nice way you can let him know that you appreciate his help but he must have other things to do. I'd be very specific about what you want. If you say "Leave me alone," you will insult him. If you say, "I'd like an hour to read," or whatever, you can get some time to yourself. Try to make it specific, concrete, and appreciative of the fact that he wants to be there and help you.
Marisa Weiss, M.D., president and founder: Gentleness and good listening skills will make an enormous difference in any of these difficult and sensitive interactions.
David Spiegel, Ph.D.: One thing that cancer should do is help you appreciate what you've got, and that means letting people know when they are doing things to help you. They appreciate it and it means a lot to them.

On Wednesday, October 18, 2000, our Ask-the-Expert Online Conference was called Feelings about Breast Cancer. David Spiegel, Ph.D. and moderator Marisa Weiss, M.D. answered your questions about the emotional effects of breast cancer diagnosis and treatment.

The materials presented in these conferences do not necessarily reflect the views of breastcancer.org. A qualified healthcare professional should be consulted before using any therapeutic product or regimen discussed. All readers should verify all information and data before employing any therapies described here.

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Meet the Experts

David Spiegel, Ph.D.David Spiegel, Ph.D. is professor and associate chairman of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Stanford University School of Medicine.

Marisa Weiss, M.D. is a radiation oncologist specializing in breast cancer and the founder, president, and guiding force behind Breastcancer.org.

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