Adoption

Adoption is a complex and sometimes confusing process. Seek out an experienced adoption counselor or lawyer who specializes in adoptions. As you have had to do in finding other specialists, ask for personal recommendations from friends and doctors. Then ask for credentials and references from the professionals you contact.

A good counselor can help guide you to a lawyer or an agency, take you through the process, and help you understand the special psychological aspects of adoption. Successful adoption may depend on managing many issues, including the normal sadness that comes with giving up the idea of having your own biological child. The same holds true for the birth mother and birth family. Counseling for the special problems they face in giving up a child can determine the stability of the adoption.

Interviews with an adoption counselor are relatively inexpensive (several hundred dollars). Costs for domestic (within the U.S.) adoptions average around $8,000 to $12,000 (public agency adoptions may cost less than adoptions with private agencies). International adoptions range from $15,000 to $25,000. Fees and expenses, such as travel, can vary widely, with total costs for some adoptions rising well above the averages.

You may be eligible to claim a federal adoption tax credit (against U.S. federal income taxes) up to $10,000 per adoption. This credit phases out if your modified adjusted gross income exceeds $150,000.

Meeting adoption requirements

As a woman who has had breast cancer and wants to adopt, you should get a strong letter from your doctor, affirming your health. This letter should state that you are free of cancer, spell out how long you have been cancer-free, and predict a long and healthy future for you.

All prospective adoptive parents must provide information about their health. The letter from your doctor is part of that information. You will also go through a home study, where your background is checked (for any criminal records), you are interviewed, and your home is visited to be sure it's a child-friendly place.

Some of the social workers who perform home study are not comfortable with having a cancer survivor adopt. It is important to find an understanding social worker by networking with other cancer survivors. Try the on-line bulletin board at Yahoo, "Adoption after Cancer," for advice and support.

The traditional route to adoption is through an agency. That can mean a wait of a year or more. Adoption is not a matter to be rushed, but a long wait may be unacceptable to many women who have been through the experience of breast cancer, and who want a child as soon as possible.

Agencies also regard the well-being of the child as their highest priority, and some are reluctant to allow a cancer survivor to adopt, although they may not admit it. International adoption agencies may be more open to a parent with a cancer history as well as to an older-than-average parent.

Domestic vs. international adoption

Today, independent adoption through an adoption lawyer is the most common type of domestic adoption in the United States. But many cancer survivors worry about the long waiting lists and possible risk of discrimination, or the chance that a birth mother will change her mind.

For these reasons, many choose international adoption, although it is more expensive. It is important to find out whether the country you choose has restrictions about a history of cancer, marital status, or age of adoptive parents.

You must be cautious with any adoption, particularly regarding the health of the child and of the birth mother. Some medical schools have special clinics that help you identify physical or emotional problems with a potential adoptive child.

You'll find information about adoption resources online at Adoptive Families of America and American Academy of Adoption Attorneys.