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Infertility risk affecting dating?

Page last modified on: September 17, 2008
Question from Madison: I'm single, have breast cancer, and am taking tamoxifen. It is difficult in the dating scene to tell them that you not only have breast cancer, but may also not be able to have kids. I really don't have money to go to a therapist, but am having a difficult time being brave enough to talk to single men.
Answer —Leslie Schover, Ph.D.: This is a very normal and common concern that single women have after breast cancer. It might help to join an online support group: for example, organizations like The Wellness Community or Cancer Care have either telephone or online support groups where you can share your feelings with other women like you. You also may want to look at web sites like Breastcancer.org or the Young Survival Coalition, an organization just for younger breast cancer survivors. There you can find information and stories from other women like you. There also are now a couple of online dating sites just for cancer survivors. One of them is called C is for Cupid. I would not say that you should only date people who have had cancer, but it is a good way to practice talking to some single guys who are likely to be very understanding of what you've gone through. The more you practice, the more comfortable you may feel in other dating situations.

On Wednesday, September 10, 2008, our Ask-the-Expert Online Conference was called Fertility and Pregnancy. Kutluk Oktay, M.D. and Leslie Schover, Ph.D. answered your questions about breast cancer treatments that can affect your fertility, options for preserving your fertility, being treated for breast cancer while pregnant, and more.

The materials presented in these conferences do not necessarily reflect the views of breastcancer.org. A qualified healthcare professional should be consulted before using any therapeutic product or regimen discussed. All readers should verify all information and data before employing any therapies described here.

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Meet the Experts

Kutluk Oktay, M.D.Kutluk Oktay, M.D. is a professor of Obstetrics & Gynecology and the director of the Division of Reproductive Medicine & Infertility at New York Medical College.

Leslie R. Schover, Ph.D.Leslie R. Schover, Ph.D. is a renowned psychologist with a special interest in helping people resolve or manage their sexual problems, especially those problems connected with a chronic illness such as cancer.

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