Thinking About Fertility Issues

Most doctors advise that cancer treatment considerations should take priority over childbearing matters. But you don't have to choose one or the other. Even if you make cancer treatment your highest priority, you may still have a good chance of becoming a parent.

Work with your doctor to identify and understand the specifics of your own "big picture." Then, think about your personal wishes and concerns together with the best interests of the child you're hoping for.

If you're in a relationship, then your partner's concerns will also weigh into the decisions you make. With a lot of soul searching and thought, work out your priorities and develop a plan.

Questions to consider include:

• What does having a baby mean to you? What are your expectations?
• Is your prognosis optimistic enough to allow you to plan for your future as a mother?
• If your survival turns out to be limited, will the child always be loved and nurtured by a parent, your extended family, or both? Have you discussed the issue with those individuals?
• Is it safe for you to become pregnant?
• Would you consider adoption or using donated eggs as routes to parenthood?

These decisions are extremely personal. They reflect your relationship with your partner and extended family, your values and support systems, your financial and career circumstances, and your cultural background.

Your doctor can help by providing you with a broad sense of your prognosis (how well you'll probably do after treatment), the safety of a pregnancy, and any other information you ask for. But, ultimately, the decision to have a child is one only you and your partner can make.

A must-read for anyone struggling with these incredibly difficult subjects is Sexuality and Fertility after Cancer by Dr. Leslie Schover (John B. Wiley & Sons, 1997). Dr. Schover's expertise and compassion in discussing these issues in an insightful, constructive manner will help you set your priorities and come to your decisions.

Another excellent resource is Fertile Hope, a nonprofit organization dedicated to helping cancer patients faced with infertility.