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Advice for dating after mastectomy?

Page last modified on: August 18, 2008
Question from Rhonda: I recently divorced. Now I'm back on the dating scene again, and with the absence of one breast I'm wondering how I should deal with new men in my life. Should I be upfront and bold by not wearing a falsey, or should I cover it up? Any advice in this area?
Answers —Leslie Schover, Ph.D.: I think the first rule in dating after breast cancer is to make sure that your partner cares about you as a friend before revealing too much. Whether to let him see your scar or to wear a falsey is probably less important than telling him about the breast cancer to begin with. The timing for that is always delicate.
Marisa Weiss, M.D., president and founder: The person you tell about your diagnosis will respond to your cues. In fact, in general, you yourself have the biggest influence on how your potential partner may react to the news. While it is tough to find the 'perfect' time to spill out the information, you can at least practice talking about it to a mirror or to a trusted friend before you actually have to do it.

On Wednesday, February 21, 2001, our Ask-the-Expert Online Conference was called Intimacy and Sexuality. Leslie R. Schover, Ph.D., and Marisa Weiss, M.D. answered your questions about how breast cancer diagnosis and treatment affect your sex life.

The materials presented in these conferences do not necessarily reflect the views of breastcancer.org. A qualified healthcare professional should be consulted before using any therapeutic product or regimen discussed. All readers should verify all information and data before employing any therapies described here.

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Meet the Experts

Leslie R. Schover, Ph.D.Leslie R. Schover, Ph.D. is a renowned psychologist with a special interest in helping people resolve or manage their sexual problems, especially those problems connected with a chronic illness such as cancer.

Marisa Weiss, M.D. is a radiation oncologist specializing in breast cancer and the founder, president, and guiding force behind Breastcancer.org.

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