- Question from Rocky: My husband wants sex; he reaches for me all the time, but I pull away. Will it get better?
- Answers - Leslie R. Schover, Ph.D. You may have to work on your reactions. If your first impulse is to pull away, take a moment to identify what thoughts and feelings you're having. You may be having some negative thoughts about your breast cancer that are interfering with your usual wish to be close.
- Debra Thaler-DeMers If you and your husband had frequent intercourse before your illness, he may see your reluctance now as a rejection of him. If you can identify why you hesitate to be intimate, it will be easier for you to share your feelings with your husband. As was said earlier, it's important to keep the lines of communication open between you.
- Marisa Weiss, M.D. It may be worth trying other types of sex besides intercourse. Oral sex, manual sex, plus other ideas that you may have in mind. This may take some pressure off you, and these encounters may be enjoyable to you, knowing that it's unlikely that you will feel physically uncomfortable during them. If you are giving pleasure to your husband and if you find it's a turn-on for you, then you could switch gears and then reconsider the possibility of intercourse.
The Ask-the-Expert Online Conference called Intimacy, Sex and Your Love Life featured Leslie R. Schover, Ph.D., Debra Thaler-DeMers, R.N., O.C.N., P.H.N., and Marisa Weiss, M.D. answering your questions about how to improve your sex life during and after breast cancer treatment.
Editor's Note: This conference took place in February 2002.
The materials presented in these conferences do not necessarily reflect the views of Breastcancer.org. A qualified healthcare professional should be consulted before using any therapeutic product or regimen discussed. All readers should verify all information and data before employing any therapies described here.
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