Men turned off by scars?
Meet the Experts
Leslie R. Schover, Ph.D. is a renowned psychologist with a special interest in helping people resolve or manage their sexual problems, especially those problems connected with a chronic illness such as cancer.
Kara Nakisbendi, M.D. is a Board Certified Obstetrician and Gynecologist, a Board Certified Nutrition Specialist and a Fellow of the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology.
Question from Dana: I haven't been intimate with anyone since I had my bilateral mastectomy and I am scared to death of the reaction to my scars. Do most men not feel turned off by a woman having had breast cancer and the scars from it?
- Answer —Leslie Schover, Ph.D.: I think it's especially difficult if you're not in a committed relationship because you don't have that background of love and commitment that gives you more confidence about how your partner's going to feel about you. There is also the issue of getting comfortable yourself with the way that your body looks so that you can feel good about yourself and your own attractiveness. Men are very individual in how important it is to them that a woman has both of her breasts, and usually it's the woman herself who's more concerned about her physical appearance than the man. But you do find a few men who are very rejective of a woman who doesn't have two breasts. The one thing I would add is that there's nothing wrong with wearing some sexy lingerie or breast prostheses or a padded bra that makes you feel more comfortable with how you look. Your desire for sex is so much in your head, so the more that you feel sexy, the better off that you are.
On Wednesday, February 20, 2008, our Ask-the-Expert Online Conference was called Sex, Intimacy, and Breast Cancer. Leslie R. Schover, Ph.D. and Kara Nakisbendi, M.D. answered your questions about sexual side effects of breast cancer and breast cancer treatment, and what you can do about them.
The materials presented in these conferences do not necessarily reflect the views of breastcancer.org. A qualified healthcare professional should be consulted before using any therapeutic product or regimen discussed. All readers should verify all information and data before employing any therapies described here.
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