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Fear of the future affecting sex life?

Page last modified on: October 7, 2008
Question from Cookie: Two years since bilateral mastectomy, chemotherapy, and radiation. Our sex life is very good again, but I have bad thoughts in my head about my future and it comes to mind often, then puts me in a "funk" with sad feelings. How do I stop being so scared about the future?
Answers —Leslie Schover, Ph.D.: Many women have those thoughts. Sometimes they intrude when you're due for a follow-up visit. Sometimes, unfortunately, they intrude when you have sex. You can try to focus away from your fears during sex by filling your mind with a strong sexual fantasy or focusing on the pleasure in your body when you're being touched. But it may also be helpful to tell yourself that it's normal to have those fears and you're doing your best to have a happy life, and fill your life with hope for the future instead of fear.
Kara Nakisbendi, M.D.: I think keeping your eyes open, keeping yourself present, and focusing on your partner will help. Sometimes changing positions - things to keep you more focused in the moment so you don't get lost in your head.

On Wednesday, February 20, 2008, our Ask-the-Expert Online Conference was called Sex, Intimacy, and Breast Cancer. Leslie R. Schover, Ph.D. and Kara Nakisbendi, M.D. answered your questions about sexual side effects of breast cancer and breast cancer treatment, and what you can do about them.

The materials presented in these conferences do not necessarily reflect the views of breastcancer.org. A qualified healthcare professional should be consulted before using any therapeutic product or regimen discussed. All readers should verify all information and data before employing any therapies described here.

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Meet the Experts

Leslie R. Schover, Ph.D.Leslie R. Schover, Ph.D. is a renowned psychologist with a special interest in helping people resolve or manage their sexual problems, especially those problems connected with a chronic illness such as cancer.

Kara Nakisbendi, M.D. is a Board Certified Obstetrician and Gynecologist, a Board Certified Nutrition Specialist and a Fellow of the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology.

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