Home → Day-to-Day Matters → Talking to Your Family and Friends About Breast Cancer → Ask-the-Expert Conferences: Family, Friends, Relationships → September 2004: Family and Loved Ones → Should husband be obligated to research?

Should husband be obligated to research?

Page last modified on: September 24, 2008

Question from Viktor: I keep getting asked whether I've read all the material for spouses. I have, but I feel like this comment is thrown at me as a sign of not caring. How can I deal with this?: Answers —Marc Silver, author: I have to confess that I couldn't stand to read any material when my wife was going through treatment, and that was my method of coping. I didn't want to be overwhelmed with information. As long as you and your wife are sort of finding the right amounts of information to bring to a doctor, you don't have to feel guilty or obligated to read a hundred different books.; Rosalind Kleban, L.C.S.W.: I often encourage patients not to read at the beginning. Very often they're much too fragile and vulnerable. They're reading an awful lot and misunderstanding things and they're frightened. When you're dealing with friends or relatives telling you what to do, you need to convey to them that you and your wife are struggling to figure out what is correct for you. If you feel comfortable, say something like, "the way my friends and family can help me best is to support me." One method of coping is not right for everybody.

On Wednesday, September 15, 2004, our Ask-the-Expert Online Conference was called Family and Loved Ones. Rosalind Kleban, L.C.S.W., author Marc Silver, and moderator Marisa Weiss, M.D. answered your questions about the issues surrounding family members and caregivers living with and caring for women affected by breast cancer.

The materials presented in these conferences do not necessarily reflect the views of Breastcancer.org. A qualified healthcare professional should be consulted before using any therapeutic product or regimen discussed. All readers should verify all information and data before employing any therapies described here.

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Meet the Experts

Rosalind Kleban, L.C.S.W. is administrative supervisor for psychosocial programs at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center's Lauder Breast Center in New York City, where she leads weekly support groups for women with early and advanced breast cancer.

Marc Silver is the author of Breast Cancer Husband: How to Help Your Wife (And Yourself) Through Diagnosis, Treatment, and Beyond.

Marisa Weiss, M.D. is a radiation oncologist specializing in breast cancer and the founder, president, and guiding force behind Breastcancer.org.

Breastcancer.org is a non-profit organization dedicated to providing information and community to those touched by this disease. Learn more about our commitment to providing complete, accurate, and private breast cancer information.

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