Help for anger at mom for hiding feelings?

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Question from Simone: I know it's irrational and unfair, but I can't help feeling a little angry with my mom, who's dealing with breast cancer. I so want to help her, but she just keeps saying everything's okay, when sometimes I can see she's been crying, or is in pain or really tired. What can I do?
Answers - Rosalind Kleban, L.C.S.W. The only thing that you can do is to assure your Mom that you're there to help her, and that you love and care for her. And maybe this is a time when she doesn't have to feel that she has to protect you, and that all energy is going to be devoted to taking care of her.

On the other hand, what your mother is doing is very strong and protective. As your mother, she has always taken care of you. She wants to continue in her caregiver role, and by telling you that she's just fine, she's also talking to herself and trying to give herself a boost. You need to let her do what she's most comfortable doing.

The Ask-the-Expert Online Conference called Family and Loved Ones featured Rosalind Kleban, L.C.S.W., author Marc Silver, and moderator Marisa Weiss, M.D. answering your questions about the issues surrounding family members and caregivers living with and caring for women affected by breast cancer.

Editor's Note: This conference took place in September 2004.

The materials presented in these conferences do not necessarily reflect the views of Breastcancer.org. A qualified healthcare professional should be consulted before using any therapeutic product or regimen discussed. All readers should verify all information and data before employing any therapies described here.

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Copyright 2010. All rights reserved.



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