Home → Day-to-Day Matters → Talking to Your Family and Friends About Breast Cancer → Ask-the-Expert Conferences: Family, Friends, Relationships → September 2004: Family and Loved Ones → Friend taking over emotions, too much advice?

Friend taking over emotions, too much advice?

Page last modified on: September 24, 2008

Question from Marjie: I don't know if this will make sense, but I feel like my friend is trying to take over my emotions, telling me how I should be feeling, etc. How do I get her to step back? She is a marvelous friend, but this is too much.: Answers —Rosalind Kleban, L.C.S.W.: I would tell my friend that I understand how much she cares and how hard she's trying to help, but this particular way isn't helpful. You can tell her that like most people dealing with breast cancer, you are going through a jumble of emotions. You are experiencing different things at different times and no one — friend or professional — can dictate how you should feel and when you will have those feelings.; Marc Silver, author: Husbands try to take over like that, too. Actually, there's a wonderful quote in my book from Roz Kleban, and what she tells guys is, "Hurry up and do nothing. Sit there and hold her hand and listen to what she has to say."; Marisa Weiss, M.D., president and founder: What's the page?; Rosalind Kleban, L.C.S.W.: Page 53, I think.

On Wednesday, September 15, 2004, our Ask-the-Expert Online Conference was called Family and Loved Ones. Rosalind Kleban, L.C.S.W., author Marc Silver, and moderator Marisa Weiss, M.D. answered your questions about the issues surrounding family members and caregivers living with and caring for women affected by breast cancer.

The materials presented in these conferences do not necessarily reflect the views of breastcancer.org. A qualified healthcare professional should be consulted before using any therapeutic product or regimen discussed. All readers should verify all information and data before employing any therapies described here.

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Meet the Experts

Rosalind Kleban, L.C.S.W. is administrative supervisor for psychosocial programs at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center's Lauder Breast Center in New York City, where she leads weekly support groups for women with early and advanced breast cancer.

Marc Silver is the author of Breast Cancer Husband: How to Help Your Wife (And Yourself) Through Diagnosis, Treatment, and Beyond.

Marisa Weiss, M.D. is a radiation oncologist specializing in breast cancer and the founder, president, and guiding force behind Breastcancer.org.