Husband's hostility after surgery normal?

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Question from Website Question: My husband was so nice to me when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, but once I had the surgery he changed totally. Since then, he has been very angry and hostile to me. Is this a common response? I was told I need chemo, but I don't think I could deal with his hostile attitude. So I have opted to not have chemo.
Answers - Marc Silver I think that anger is a common reaction among men. He may be angry that he couldn't protect you from cancer. He may be upset that life isn't the way it used to be. But you should certainly make your own decisions about treatment. You may also want to seek couples therapy for you and your husband if he's willing to talk about what's troubling him.
Rosalind Kleban, L.C.S.W. The most important thing here is for you to do what's right for your diagnosis and situation, in cooperation with your physician and available counselors.

The Ask-the-Expert Online Conference called Family and Loved Ones featured Rosalind Kleban, L.C.S.W., author Marc Silver, and moderator Marisa Weiss, M.D. answering your questions about the issues surrounding family members and caregivers living with and caring for women affected by breast cancer.

Editor's Note: This conference took place in September 2004.

The materials presented in these conferences do not necessarily reflect the views of Breastcancer.org. A qualified healthcare professional should be consulted before using any therapeutic product or regimen discussed. All readers should verify all information and data before employing any therapies described here.

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