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Husband's hostility after surgery normal?

Page last modified on: September 24, 2008

Question from Website Question: My husband was so nice to me when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, but once I had the surgery he changed totally. Since then, he has been very angry and hostile to me. Is this a common response? I was told I need chemo, but I don't think I could deal with his hostile attitude. So I have opted to not have chemo.: Answers —Marc Silver, author: I think that anger is a common reaction among men. He may be angry that he couldn't protect you from cancer. He may be upset that life isn't the way it used to be. But you should certainly make your own decisions about treatment. You may also want to seek couples therapy for you and your husband if he's willing to talk about what's troubling him.; Rosalind Kleban, L.C.S.W.: The most important thing here is for you to do what's right for your diagnosis and situation, in cooperation with your physician and available counselors.

On Wednesday, September 15, 2004, our Ask-the-Expert Online Conference was called Family and Loved Ones. Rosalind Kleban, L.C.S.W., author Marc Silver, and moderator Marisa Weiss, M.D. answered your questions about the issues surrounding family members and caregivers living with and caring for women affected by breast cancer.

The materials presented in these conferences do not necessarily reflect the views of Breastcancer.org. A qualified healthcare professional should be consulted before using any therapeutic product or regimen discussed. All readers should verify all information and data before employing any therapies described here.

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Meet the Experts

Rosalind Kleban, L.C.S.W. is administrative supervisor for psychosocial programs at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center's Lauder Breast Center in New York City, where she leads weekly support groups for women with early and advanced breast cancer.

Marc Silver is the author of Breast Cancer Husband: How to Help Your Wife (And Yourself) Through Diagnosis, Treatment, and Beyond.

Marisa Weiss, M.D. is a radiation oncologist specializing in breast cancer and the founder, president, and guiding force behind Breastcancer.org.

Breastcancer.org is a non-profit organization dedicated to providing information and community to those touched by this disease. Learn more about our commitment to providing complete, accurate, and private breast cancer information.

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