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Get scared wife to test for cancer?

Page last modified on: September 24, 2008
Question from JustFred: My wife was the caregiver when her mother went through breast cancer, and there are others in her family who've been through it too. She's so scared after what her mom suffered 30 years ago that she won't get tested for anything (she's 53). How can I help?
Answers —Rosalind Kleban, L.C.S.W.: There are a variety of encouraging things you can share with her. The treatment of breast cancer is very different today than years ago, and we also know a great deal more about the causes. Your wife has to work very hard at separating herself from her mother and her relatives, and know that her husband will be there to support and care for her whatever may happen. Remember — and remind her — that she may be completely well; she may be somebody in the family without hereditary breast cancer. By seeking medical attention, she can be relieved of her anxieties.
Marc Silver, author: One thing it's great for husbands to do is offer to go with mammograms or other medical appointments with their wives. Having someone with you can relieve some of the stress and anxiety at those times. And then take her out for lunch afterwards.

On Wednesday, September 15, 2004, our Ask-the-Expert Online Conference was called Family and Loved OnesRosalind Kleban, L.C.S.W., author Marc Silver, and moderator Marisa Weiss, M.D. answered your questions about the issues surrounding family members and caregivers living with and caring for women affected by breast cancer.


The materials presented in these conferences do not necessarily reflect the views of breastcancer.org. A qualified healthcare professional should be consulted before using any therapeutic product or regimen discussed. All readers should verify all information and data before employing any therapies described here.

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Meet the Experts

Rosalind Kleban, L.C.S.W.Rosalind Kleban, L.C.S.W. is administrative supervisor for psychosocial programs at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center's Lauder Breast Center in New York City, where she leads weekly support groups for women with early and advanced breast cancer.

Marc SilverMarc Silver is the author of Breast Cancer Husband: How to Help Your Wife (And Yourself) Through Diagnosis, Treatment, and Beyond.

Marisa Weiss, M.D. is a radiation oncologist specializing in breast cancer and the founder, president, and guiding force behind Breastcancer.org.

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