Home → Day-to-Day Matters → Talking to Your Family and Friends About Breast Cancer → Ask-the-Expert Conferences: Family, Friends, Relationships → March 2006: Coping with Your Changing Feelings and Relationships → Partner's distance hurting relationship?

Partner's distance hurting relationship?

Page last modified on: October 7, 2008

Question from gosox: My partner has not been close to me since my chemo. Now I am in radiation and he does not ask how I am feeling etc. It seems he has completely ignored me and my cancer. We have not been intimate since. He says he is afraid of losing me. Please help.: Answer —Lidia Schapira, M.D.: Sounds to me that this illness has taken a toll on your relationship. You are both suffering and not able to connect at this time. Perhaps your partner is terrified, and the best advice I can give you is to go slow, invite him or her to talk with you, and be open about your fears. Don't try to rush things. And, if you find that you can't make any progress together, seek out a third person (a mental health worker, a therapist or a common friend) to help you start to talk about this experience. There is no set formula for how long it takes for people to come to terms with a crisis such as cancer.

On Wednesday, March 15, 2006, our Ask-the-Expert Online Conference was called Coping with Your Changing Feelings and Relationships. Lidia Schapira, M.D. and moderator Jennifer Armstrong, M.D. answered your questions about facing your fears head-on, handling moodiness and depression, diffusing tension with your partner and feeling close without sexual activity, as well as issues of self-image and femininity.

The materials presented in these conferences do not necessarily reflect the views of Breastcancer.org. A qualified healthcare professional should be consulted before using any therapeutic product or regimen discussed. All readers should verify all information and data before employing any therapies described here.

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Meet the Experts

Lidia Schapira, M.D. is a medical oncologist at the Gillette Center for Breast Oncology at the Massachusetts General Hospital and an assistant professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School.

Jennifer Armstrong, M.D. is a breast cancer oncologist at Paoli Hematology-Oncology Associates in Paoli, Pa., with a special interest in physicians' communication skills.

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