Home → Day-to-Day Matters → Talking to Your Family and Friends About Breast Cancer → Ask-the-Expert Conferences: Family, Friends, Relationships → February 2007: Partners, Loved Ones, Caregivers: Taking Care of You → Helping a friend cope with fear, stress?

Helping a friend cope with fear, stress?

Page last modified on: October 16, 2008

Question from DonnaA: My friend has a lump on her breast and under her armpit. She went for a needle biopsy one week ago, but she found another lump on her breast. She also has burning and soreness on her breast and armpit. Yesterday she told me she felt weakness in her legs. I don't want her getting stressed out over it. Can you help me with a suggestion to help her cope with it? Plus she is scared of the diagnosis.: Answers —Rosalind Kleban, L.C.S.W.: In this situation where you're suspicious over a diagnosis of cancer, people need to rally around to help the person pursue the diagnosis. The feeling ought to be first: we need information and we can tackle whatever is in front of us. Without the diagnosis or information, things can get out of hand and we're flying in unknown territory without information. If you should get the diagnosis of breast cancer, we'll have a plan, we'll get treatment, and together with a lot of support you can help her get through this.; Marc Silver, author: It's really important that your friend has someone with her at doctor visits. And whether it's a family member or a friend it can make a huge impact having someone along listening with her. And perhaps taking notes of what the doctor says, or tape recording the visit.

On Wednesday, February 21, 2007, our Ask-the-Expert Online Conference was called Partners, Loved Ones, Caregivers: Taking Care of You. Author Marc Silver and moderator Rosalind Kleban, L.C.S.W. answered your questions about how you can take care of your loved one and yourself during and after breast cancer treatment.

The materials presented in these conferences do not necessarily reflect the views of breastcancer.org. A qualified healthcare professional should be consulted before using any therapeutic product or regimen discussed. All readers should verify all information and data before employing any therapies described here.

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Meet the Experts

Marc Silver is the author of Breast Cancer Husband: How to Help Your Wife (And Yourself) Through Diagnosis, Treatment, and Beyond.

Rosalind Kleban, L.C.S.W. is administrative supervisor for psychosocial programs at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center's Lauder Breast Center in New York City, where she leads weekly support groups for women with early and advanced breast cancer.