Home → Day-to-Day Matters → Talking to Your Family and Friends About Breast Cancer → Ask-the-Expert Conferences: Family, Friends, Relationships → February 2007: Partners, Loved Ones, Caregivers: Taking Care of You → Possible to be too accomodating?

Possible to be too accomodating?

Page last modified on: October 16, 2008

Question from Susana: Is it fine to always say OK to whatever my mother (patient) asks? I feel like she is being too spoiled and nothing makes her happy.: Answers —Rosalind Kleban, L.C.S.W.: My response to a question like this is that most often the time of treatment is time-limited. During this time, the family is no longer a democracy, but a dictatorship. And the patient is in charge. This will end, treatment will end, and things will return to normal. During treatment, the patient has many intense feelings exhibited in many different ways. If the family can be patient and supportive, that is generally the best approach. So, the answer is you need to say yes to your mother unless she's asking for destructive things.; Marc Silver, author: The same goes for husbands. A lot of men have told me that the motto of the breast cancer husband should be "Shut up and listen!"

On Wednesday, February 21, 2007, our Ask-the-Expert Online Conference was called Partners, Loved Ones, Caregivers: Taking Care of You. Author Marc Silver and moderator Rosalind Kleban, L.C.S.W. answered your questions about how you can take care of your loved one and yourself during and after breast cancer treatment.

The materials presented in these conferences do not necessarily reflect the views of breastcancer.org. A qualified healthcare professional should be consulted before using any therapeutic product or regimen discussed. All readers should verify all information and data before employing any therapies described here.

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Meet the Experts

Marc Silver is the author of Breast Cancer Husband: How to Help Your Wife (And Yourself) Through Diagnosis, Treatment, and Beyond.

Rosalind Kleban, L.C.S.W. is administrative supervisor for psychosocial programs at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center's Lauder Breast Center in New York City, where she leads weekly support groups for women with early and advanced breast cancer.