Partner angry at my diagnosis?
Meet the Experts
Lisa Weissmann, M.D. is an attending physician at Mount Auburn Hospital in Cambridge, Massachusetts, dedicated to breast cancer care, with an appointment at Harvard Medical School.
Cheryl Pearson-Fields, M.P.H. is a director of health education and research with the Mautner Project for Lesbians with Cancer.
Marisa Weiss, M.D. is a radiation oncologist specializing in breast cancer and the founder, president, and guiding force behind Breastcancer.org.
Question from Hopeful: My partner has been very angry since my diagnosis—I can't put my finger on why. I need her support, but she seems to be blaming me for getting this disease and interrupting our lives.
- Answers —Cheryl Pearson-Fields, M.P.H.: Your partner may be experiencing a lot of fear about what's happening to you, and that may be being expressed as anger. It's important for the two of you to be able to talk about your emotions around this diagnosis, and it may be important for her to take some time or to go outside the relationship for support to a support group and work through her issues and fears. That might be helpful for the two of you.
- Marisa Weiss, M.D., president and founder: It is also very normal, as we've pointed out this evening, to be angry—for you to experience anger as well as the people who are close to you. Cancer really stinks! The whole experience can turn your lives upside down and really shake things up. I think the anger is a healthy response to what's happened, but it's also important to work through that anger and then, more specifically, address the various things that you might be upset, fearful, angry, jealous, shamed, etc. about. A diagnosis of cancer can bring on all kinds of 'ugly' feelings, and these feelings can make you feel worse about yourself. You may end up feeling less worthy and less in many different categories. You really have to work hard to hold on and get some help to get out of that way of thinking, getting the support that you need, and learning to accept help from others is an important part of that process.
On Wednesday, November 21, 2001, our Ask-the-Expert Online Conference was called Lesbians and Breast Cancer. Lisa Weissmann, M.D., Cheryl Pearson-Fields, M.P.H., and Marisa Weiss, M.D. answered your questions about being gay and having breast cancer.
The materials presented in these conferences do not necessarily reflect the views of breastcancer.org. A qualified healthcare professional should be consulted before using any therapeutic product or regimen discussed. All readers should verify all information and data before employing any therapies described here.
A production of LiveWorld, Inc.
Copyright 2008. All rights reserved.
An original video-on-demand educational initiative brought to you by Breastcancer.org and Comcast. Visit www.comcast.net/pinkribbon each week through the end of October for engaging, up-to-date videos and information about the fight to end breast cancer.