Sex During and After Breast Cancer
Updated on March 23, 2026
If breast cancer has torpedoed your sex drive, you’re not alone. Studies suggest nearly 80% of people diagnosed with breast cancer report at least one sexual side effect. This happens for a number of reasons. If you’ve had breast cancer surgery, your body may look and feel different. The stress and anxiety you may feel after a diagnosis also can take a toll on your desire for sex. Then there are the side effects from treatments — ranging from hot flashes to vaginal dryness to nausea — that can make sex less appealing and possibly painful. But whether you’re in a long-term relationship or dating, your sexual health is an important part of your overall health.
“We shouldn’t have to accept this idea that, unfortunately, is still out there: That people should just be grateful to be alive after an experience with breast cancer,” said Don Dizon, MD, FACP, FASCO, during a presentation at the 2024 San Antonio Breast Cancer Symposium. “Sexuality is an inherent part of being a human being and not something that we should accept as gone. If sexuality is important to you and your partner, then it’s something we should help you regain.”
Sex during breast cancer treatment
Your sexual health may be negatively affected after breast cancer diagnosis for several reasons, including:
exhaustion, both physical and mental, from diagnosis and treatment
loss of libido (sexual desire) caused by treatment side effects, including nausea, fatigue, and depression
discomfort or pain during, or immediately after, sex — particularly if breast cancer treatments trigger early menopause
negative body image after certain breast cancer treatments, including breast surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation
Besides helping your sex life, managing the physical and emotional side effects of breast cancer can make you feel more comfortable in your own body and boost your overall well-being. If you have a partner, an important component of improving your sex life after a breast cancer diagnosis is talking to that person.
“It’s ironic that so many people struggle more talking about sex and intimacy than actually engaging in sexual activity,” Stephanie Ross, PhD, a clinical health psychologist, said on an episode of The Breastcancer.org Podcast about talking to a partner about sex after breast cancer. “The basis for most great or even good sex, in general, is communication. The most important advice I can give is to recreate and build the bond between the partnership. This is done, usually, through non-sexual activity. It can be watching a show together, exercising together, taking a drive together, taking a walk together, turning off our phones and our computers and just reestablishing that connection as partners.”
Sex after breast surgery
There are two things to keep in mind when deciding when to have sex after breast cancer surgery: your doctor’s OK and your comfort.
Most surgeons recommend avoiding sex until any drains and stitches have been removed. After your doctor signs off, listen to your body. If you’ve had breast reconstruction with a tissue flap, the flap donor site — often the belly, back, butt, or thighs — may be bruised and painful.
If you’re in pain, it can make sex uncomfortable for both you and your partner. You may find that certain positions are uncomfortable for a while. Take things slowly and allow yourself and your partner to learn what feels the most pleasurable. The Ohnut, a set of soft rings that control the depth of penetration, also can be helpful.
Sex during chemotherapy, targeted therapy, or immunotherapy
You don’t necessarily need to give up sex or intimacy while you’re receiving chemotherapy, targeted therapy, or immunotherapy if you don’t want to. But it’s smart to take a few precautions when having sex during these treatments. If it’s possible for you to become pregnant, doctors recommend using non-hormonal forms of birth control to prevent pregnancy during treatment. That’s because targeted therapy and immunotherapy may cause birth defects in a fetus, and may also increase the risk of miscarriage. Chemotherapy isn’t safe during the first trimester of pregnancy, but can be used after that if someone is diagnosed with breast cancer while pregnant. So it’s important that you don’t become pregnant after you start chemo.
If you have multiple partners, it’s a good idea to have a frank discussion with them about testing for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). If a woman has a weakened immune system from treatment, an STD infection can cause pelvic inflammatory disease. Barrier birth control methods, like condoms and dental dams, can help protect you from infection caused by your partner’s bodily fluids.
Partnered, monogamous, STD-negative people likely don’t need to use these barrier methods.
Sex during radiation therapy
If you’re receiving external beam radiation, the radiation is delivered by a machine outside your body. The machine is only on during treatment and doesn’t leave any radiation in your body. So if you want to, you can have sex in between treatments because there is no risk of radiation spreading to your partner.
If you’re receiving internal radiation therapy, also called brachytherapy, the radiation is delivered by small pieces of radioactive material, called seeds. The seeds are placed in the area around where the cancer was. In most cases, the seeds are removed before you leave the treatment center or hospital. Once the seeds are removed, there is no radiation in your body, so you can have sex if you would like to do so.
Treatment side effects that can affect your sexual health
Loss of libido
There are many reasons that breast cancer might lead to a loss of libido (your desire for sex). After a breast cancer diagnosis, as you focus on getting better and managing the disease and the side effects from its treatment, sex may be the last thing on your mind. Other factors that can lead to loss of libido include stress, exhaustion, fatigue, and certain medicines.
Overall, it’s important to be patient with yourself. Whenever you’re ready — and it could be never — talk to someone on your cancer care team or a sexual health specialist about how to manage any loss of libido.
Vaginal dryness and painful sex
Some breast cancer treatments, such as chemotherapy and hormonal therapy, can lead to early menopause, which can cause genitourinary syndrome of menopause; symptoms include vaginal dryness and painful sex.
The good news is there are treatments for genitourinary syndrome of menopause, including vaginal moisturizers, lubricants, dilators, and pelvic floor physical therapy.
Sexual Side Effects of Breast Cancer Treatment
Sep 17, 2020Changes in your appearance
Both breast cancer and breast cancer treatments may cause changes in your physical appearance, including losing one or both breasts, surgical scars, weight gain or loss, or hair loss.
Breast cancer surgery changes how your breasts look and the sensations they feel. Scars can make some people very sensitive about their appearance without clothes. Others are fearful of their breasts being touched or are upset because their breasts have less sensation or are painful after surgery. Some people’s partners may be worried that touching the breast area may be painful or upsetting.
These and other changes can lead to body-image issues that can make it difficult to enjoy sex. Besides issues with body image, surgery and other treatments can cause pain, both in the breast area and in other parts of your body, all of which might make sex physically uncomfortable or less pleasurable.
The good news is that there are treatments and resources available to help you regain your confidence and ultimately restore your sexual health. It’s almost always helpful to speak to a therapist or counselor, especially if you have lingering body-image issues that are affecting your self-esteem. The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) website directory allows you to put in your country or U.S. state to find a certified professional in your area.
Mood and emotional changes
After a breast cancer diagnosis, it’s not unusual for people’s moods, emotions, and mental health to change. Some people might have symptoms of depression or feel sad, anxious, or overwhelmed. These feelings can subside after a few weeks or months, or they can linger for several months to years. Such feelings, whether someone has them for the long or short term, can zap their desire to have sex.
Your cancer care team is in the best position to recommend mental health support for you so you can feel less stressed and strengthen your relationship with your partner and other loved ones.
Five ways to take care of your sexual health
Your quality of life is essential, so if you’re worried about the loss of libido or sex that isn’t pleasurable because of pain or discomfort, there are specialists who can give you the support and help you need. Talking to someone on your cancer care team is usually a good place to start.
1. Talk about sexual health with someone on your cancer care team
Not everybody feels comfortable talking about sex, so it’s important to know that oncologists and other members of your cancer care team might not bring up the topic of sexual health. Their focus, especially immediately after a breast cancer diagnosis, is on developing treatment plans to eliminate the cancer. So you may need to start the conversation. It’s easiest to do that with someone you trust on your cancer care team, such as your oncologist, nurse, or social worker. They can help either identify the cause of any sexual challenges you might be having or recommend mental and sexual health specialists who can help.
2. Talk about sexual health with partners, friends, or family
You might find that, in addition to talking with a doctor or specialist, it’s helpful to talk to a friend or family member about how you’ve been feeling. Remember that you can share as much or as little detail as you feel comfortable sharing. Sometimes talking with someone close to you, even if it’s not to get advice, can help relieve some pressure and stress.
For some people in monogamous relationships, it may be more comfortable to talk with their partners about sex, how their feelings about sex and intimacy have changed, and what they want and need. Although it’s certainly not mandatory, sometimes it can help to have some of these discussions with a couples therapist — preferably one who has experience working with people diagnosed with cancer.
Get tips on how you might prepare to talk with your partner about sex and intimacy after breast cancer.
3. Join a support group
Gathering in-person or online to talk with others who are going through similar situations as you could also be helpful. Breastcancer.org offers online support via our discussion boards and virtual support groups.
4. Exercise to boost your mood
Exercise stimulates the production of endorphins, which contribute to your sense of well-being and can boost your mood. It can help alleviate other symptoms of breast cancer and treatment side effects and make you feel more comfortable in your body, too. Exercise also can improve sexual arousal and indirectly enhance sexual satisfaction by improving your heart health and mood.
5. Be patient with yourself
The bottom line is that sex and intimacy are different for everyone. Although some people want to have sex during some or all of their treatment, others prefer to focus on treatment first before having sex again. The choice is entirely yours and should be based on what you want and need.
Resources for help with sexual health
If you're having problems with sexual health and function, body image, or intimate relationships during or after treatment for breast cancer, there are many sexual health resources available to help, including specialists and clinics, support groups, educational resources, and more.
