7 Tips for Positive Body Image After Breast Cancer

A lot of people who’ve gone through breast cancer treatment struggle with what they see in the mirror. Breast cancer treatments can cause changes to your appearance that may be abrupt and hard to adjust to. You might feel uncomfortable or self-conscious about surgical scars, the loss of one or both breasts, the look of reconstructed breasts, weight changes, hair loss from chemotherapy, skin changes from radiation therapy, or swelling from lymphedema. You may have concerns about how others perceive the changes to your body, and these can affect your relationships and sexual health. Or you may experience a shift in how you see your body — as something that has failed you or is a source of pain.

“The changes in your relationship with your body can be profound. There can be a sense of grief and of feeling disconnected from your own body,” said Talia Zaider, PhD, assistant attending psychologist and director of the Family Therapy Clinic at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York City.

Body image challenges are highly personal and are different for each person. For some, they can be debilitating, while others don’t struggle with them at all. What’s pretty universal, though, is that it’s hard to get past these challenges if you don’t face them in some way. Experts say that you’re more likely to remain stuck if you avoid looking at and experiencing your body and talking about your body image concerns.

If you’re having body image issues, these seven tips can help you embrace a more positive body image after breast cancer.  

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You might be telling yourself — or hearing from others — that you should be grateful to be alive and that it’s shallow to be concerned about your appearance. Try not to pay attention to those thoughts. Body image struggles are real, and you don’t need to feel guilty or repress them. It’s very common to feel affected by the ways your body has changed after breast cancer treatment.  

Persistent negative feelings about the way you look can affect your mental health, self-confidence, and relationships. They can make some people want to avoid everyday activities that they’d otherwise enjoy, such as going out for a meal or swimming. Others might not feel comfortable dating or being intimate with a partner. If body image concerns are affecting your quality of life, don’t avoid dealing with them. “Get the support you need to face your fears and insecurities,” advises Chery Hysjulien, RN, PsyD, a clinical psychologist at Sanford Health Roger Maris Cancer Center in Fargo, North Dakota. 

Consider talking with a mental health professional who specializes in body image after cancer. You can ask your cancer care team or a social worker at your cancer center for a referral, or call the American Psychosocial Oncology Society’s helpline at 1-866-276-7443. 

A skilled therapist can help you replace negative and critical thoughts about your body with more positive or neutral ones and ease into looking at, experiencing, and accepting your body as it is now. Online or in-person breast cancer support groups and peer-to-peer mentoring programs can also be helpful for working through body image issues with others who’ve had similar experiences.

Body image concerns and anxieties might affect how you relate to your partner. You may have trouble re-establishing physical intimacy or sexual activity or connecting with your partner emotionally. But experts say that it’s best not to turn away from your partner if you’re experiencing these challenges. Communication is critical to any relationship and becomes even more important during and after a health crisis. “Don’t leave your partner in the dark,” said Dr. Zaider. “Talk about how you’re feeling and about how you can restore intimacy with each other.” It might be worth meeting with a couples therapist who can facilitate those conversations.  

Engage with your body in ways that feel good to you and that aren’t necessarily about how you look — for example, by going for a walk, doing yoga, dancing, riding a bike, getting a massage, or taking a hot bath. Focus on your senses and on how it feels to move your body. It can also be helpful to think about things you appreciate about your body and acknowledge the ways in which your body has been resilient. ”Some people see cancer as a sort of betrayal, and I try to remind them of the strengths and positives of their body,” said Dr. Hysjulien. “Their body has seen them through rigorous cancer treatments and is strong.”

We constantly receive subtle and not-so-subtle messages about beauty standards from the media, advertising, and the people around us. We all have deeply ingrained ideas about what’s attractive. One way to move toward greater self-acceptance is to get into the habit of questioning external messages about beauty. Try to let go of the appearance standards and ideals that don’t suit you and make you feel bad.

You may find that you have a different mindset and that your priorities shift after receiving a breast cancer diagnosis and treatment. This can open up new possibilities for growth and for redefining your relationship with your body, said Dr. Hysjulien. “Some women make peace with their body image in a way they wouldn’t have before, especially if they don’t avoid experiencing their body.”