Pat's Story: Being Open and Honest Helped Get Me Through
Pat is a Breastcancer.org community member in Graham, North Carolina, USA.
I was in my 50’s and single, living alone, when I was diagnosed with stage I triple-negative breast cancer nearly 15 years ago. I had a lumpectomy, followed by 4 rounds of chemo over 12 weeks, and then 6 weeks of daily radiation.
I was a high school teacher at the time, and I felt that I needed to continue teaching, not only for the sake of my students, but also to give myself a focus other than cancer. It was exhausting, but two things were of tremendous benefit.
First, I was frank about what I was going through with friends and colleagues, and I accepted every single offer of help — meals, transportation, and all the little gestures. Don’t try to go it alone. When you accept someone’s offer of help, you’re giving them a gift as well, the gift of being helpful and supportive.
Second, I was open and honest with my students. I told them what I was going through, so they knew when I was struggling with low energy and fatigue. They responded by being helpful and respectful. I also gave them a chance to ask questions which I answered as frankly and fully as possible. A number of them shared stories of family members’ struggles with cancer, and appreciated having someone to talk to.
At the end of the year, several of my seniors thanked me for all they had learned that year, and not just literature and writing. They told me they learned about empathy, and strength, and community, and real life lessons that they would remember for a lifetime.
