Personal Reconstruction Stories

Betty had double mastectomies in her mid-30s and no reconstruction, and no plans to shop for a prosthesis:

• "This is the way I looked the first fourteen years of my life. I can handle it. But if I change my mind, or decide to wear a sexy dress from my former life, I can stick something into a bra or buy falsies."

Evelyn was in her late 70s when she had a mastectomy and decided on a surgical implant:

• "My bosom was my friend. I had to replace that side with a buddy for the other."

Kathleen is an artist who chose not to have reconstruction because that felt safer to her. Still, she has strong feelings:

• "I also have feelings of loss and mourning, death in a way, about losing my breasts. I've done some art around that. I gave my breasts a proper burial in my art because I don't know where they are. It's sort of like losing a relative."

Theresa used mastectomy and reconstruction as a way to have the figure she always wanted:

• "I went through life looking terrible in clothes and feeling horribly self-conscious about my huge breasts. So when I had to have a mastectomy, I agreed only on condition that I could have reconstruction and reduction of the other breast at the same time. I had the TRAM flap, and between that tummy tuck and waking up with reasonably sized breasts, I made the best of a bad deal."

Joan:

• "I might be able to get away with a prosthesis, but I don't want to worry about reaching for high C in an embrace with the tenor... and have the damn thing pop out. It happened to another soprano I know. I don't want anyone knowing my business, especially one of those lecherous tenors."

At first, Lily was set against having to suffer through two surgeries: mastectomy and then a reconstruction operation. She wanted a prosthesis. But her husband said:

• "I know you too well. You're not going to be happy walking around with a double-D breast on one side and nothing on the other."

Kathleen had a double mastectomy after three bouts of breast cancer over seven years:

• "I never wanted or considered reconstruction. I'm a very organic person. Expanders and saline implants just wouldn't feel like me. Moving a muscle from my belly ... I just didn't want to deal with that on top of everything else. I don't want any more surgeries and I would rather my chest be examined for cancer without something getting in the way. Practically speaking, I just don't want any more problems."

June's support group jumped on her when she suggested she was considering reconstruction to please a man:

• "No way! Guys come and go. Do it for yourself or don't do it!"

For some women, though, doing it for a lover may be reason enough.

Catie was certain she didn't want reconstruction, until ten years after her mastectomy:

• "I just started going out with my old college sweetheart. It's the first dating I've done in a long time. When I consider the possibility of having sex with him in the future, I feel a little bit deformed. Breasts are such an important part of sexuality for me. He doesn't seem to mind at all, but the messages in my head make me feel inadequate. It's important for me to work through those feelings and not just run out and have reconstruction."