Sierra's Story: Why I See Breast Cancer as a Life Sentence
Sierra is a Breastcancer.org Community member in Harrodsburg, Kentucky, USA.
I'm Sierra, I'm 27 years old and I'm from Kentucky. In 2023, when I was 26 years old, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. To say this diagnosis took me by surprise would be the understatement of the century. I have no history of cancer in my family, And I found out through genetic testing that out of 77 breast cancer genes, I do not carry a single one.
So breast cancer?! What?! Not possible! Or so I thought.
In the very early stages of this I was struggling so much. I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't eating, I was pacing the floors at night, crying all hours of the day and my anxiety was at an all time high. I was also very angry at God — I couldn't understand why he would allow something like this to happen.
I had so many doctors coming at me from every direction that you can think of, all needing to do different things in regards to my cancer. And I felt like every single one of them was signing my death certificate for me. I believed my time on this earth was coming to a close, I firmly believed this was a death sentence, and you could not convince me otherwise.
Through all of this anxiety, anger and fear all I could think about was my son. My sweet 5 year old boy. I've been a single mother since I was 3 1/2 months pregnant. As much as that sounds like an "awe" thing...I promise it's not. I was in a pretty abusive relationship at the hands of my son's father, if I'm being totally honest, He almost killed me. So in the grand scheme of things, it was a blessing that he left and never looked back.
But in my current circumstances, It was so hard for me to still see that blessing. I felt like God was taking me away from my son and I didn't understand why. Leaving him was my biggest fear, even before I recieved this diagnosis. And I felt like that was coming true.
Fast forward to May, It was time for my first surgery. I had to get something called a port-a-cath. Otherwise known as a port. They make you get these ports for treatment reasons. You are unable to get chemotherapy through your viens, the strength of the medicine destroys them. So they have to surgically place this port and it goes through one of the main areas of your heart, and through a vein in your neck.
The day came for that surgery, and I sat back there in that pre-op room, alone and so scared. Even shedding a few tears. I knew once this surgery was completed, it was go time. Chemo would start. And I just didn't know what my future was gonna look like. Again...it all terrified me.
But in that moment of uncertainty. A peace overcame me. A peace that truly made and still makes no sense. A peace that surpassed all of my understanding. A peace I prayed SO hard for.
I can't tell you how many times I prayed for that peace, and I never recieved it. That was something else I didn't understand. BUT, I will say although I didn't get that peace when I wanted it, I got it when I needed it the most. And thankfully it has stayed with me ever since then. I have never felt more safe than I did in that moment. I just KNEW He was there in that room with me. It still gives me chills to think about. Isn't our God wonderful?!
Part of me believes that there is a part of all of us that thinks our prayers are to be answered with the prettiest things. All the rainbows and sunshine. But sometimes, It's just not that way. Sometimes they're answered through heartbreak, through darkness, through a storm or a bad chapter.
The thing I've learned, though, is how okay that is. There is nothing wrong with that. I think that's a testament of God's faithfulness. How He meets you exactly where you are and gives you what you need.
It took me walking this cancer road. It took this horrible, gut-wrenching chapter of my life for every tear-filled prayer that I've ever prayed to be answered.
Everything from friendship, peace, a God-centered loving church, and everything in between. God's faithfulness has been evident in such abundance.
Now here I am, 1 year and 1 month in and still standing stronger than I ever have. Both mentally, physically, and spiritually. And now in REMISSION!
I've had two surgeries, my most recent one being a double mastectomy. I've had five chemotherapy treatments and 30 rounds of radiation.
I've had two anaphylactic reactions to that chemotherapy (one of those reactions almost killed me). I've had sickness you wouldn't believe, I was so sensitive to these chemo drugs.
I lost all my hair, had some chemo rashes and even inflammation in the lining of my lungs. A blood infection, a handful of ER visits and scans, a couple hospital stays. You name it, It's unfortunately happened to me. It's been the hardest year of my life, but I've let Him be my strength. I have leaned into Him. I've praised Him every single step of the way and the miracles came rolling in in the process. He has still been so good to me!
I also realize now that what I thought was a death sentence was really a life sentence. In the best possible way. I have a new life in Christ. I was baptized 2 months ago and had the coolest honor of one of my physicians — the one who initially found my cancer — baptizing me!
I've been open about my battle with cancer, because I hope through my struggles that I've helped people realize that God doesn't cause our pain. But he uses that pain. There is no bad day, heartache, storm or bad chapter that He can't use for good. I also prayed that I've shown that it's possible to have peace in the middle of pain. But that's only possible with God! God is good.
