Living With Metastatic Breast Cancer
There’s no right or wrong way to come to terms with the news that you or someone you love has metastatic breast cancer — the type of breast cancer that will require treatment for the rest of life. Right now, there is no cure, but there are metastatic breast cancer treatments available that can manage the disease and help people to live well for many years.
A metastatic (MBC) breast cancer diagnosis means you’ll likely have to face physical, emotional, and practical challenges. Here are some strategies on how to manage those challenges and live well.
Managing your feelings about metastatic breast cancer
Metastatic breast cancer is also called stage IV (4) breast cancer. Whether it’s a first diagnosis or a recurrence, it’s normal to feel angry, scared, stressed, outraged, depressed, or calm. You may question the treatments you’ve had previously, be mad at your doctors, or deal with the diagnosis in a matter-of-fact way.
Many people find it helps to learn more about the diagnosis and different treatment options. Taking the time to get a second opinion also can offer more peace of mind. For some people, information can provide a feeling of control, which can help them manage any fears they may have.
“Loss of control is a huge issue for women diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer,” says Musa Mayer, author of Advanced Breast Cancer: A Guide to Living with Metastatic Disease and patient advocate. Mayer has been living with metastatic breast cancer for more than 30 years. “The process of gathering information and learning about the disease and treatment can be very stabilizing.”
Taking care of your mental health
MBC is a marathon, not a sprint. When you’re living with MBC, your mental health is just as important as your physical health. If you’re feeling overwhelmed and aren’t sure where to turn, know that support is available. Many cancer centers consider mental and emotional health support to be an essential part of treatment for metastatic cancer care and have professionals on staff available who can offer support and counseling.
A number of people diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer have said thinking about the future frightens them because they’re not sure what is going to happen. Some feel that living in the moment helps them deal with the fear and stress of an advanced cancer diagnosis. There are many things you can do to stay in the present moment: spending time with loved ones, making art, journaling, meditating or doing another spiritual practice, listening to music, or playing with a pet.
It can also help to talk with other people in the same situation. Breastcancer.org offers virtual support groups for people touched by metastatic breast cancer, including a support group for partners of people with metastatic disease. There are also Breastcancer.org Community discussion boards to connect with people with similar diagnoses and interests as you.
Some people find emotional support and strength in their spirituality. For example, you may find comfort when praying and talking to members or leaders of your spiritual community. If you need help finding faith-based support, many hospitals have a chaplain who is specially trained to guide and support people of all spiritual backgrounds. A chaplain can also refer you to nearby religious organizations.
Remember, it’s OK to ask for help — and to be specific about your needs. Most likely, your family and friends want to help, but they aren’t sure what you need or want. Giving them a task — such as shopping, cooking, or cleaning — can help you focus your energy on the things that matter most to you.
Talking with your children, family, and friends about MBC
Telling your loved ones — especially children — about being diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer can be extremely difficult. You may be concerned about upsetting your family and friends or worried about how they’ll react.
Even after you’ve shared the news, you may find it difficult to communicate openly at times. Asking for help, answering questions about how you’re doing, and telling well-meaning relatives and friends that you need some time and space for yourself all take energy — and there may be days you just feel worn out.
If you’re getting a lot of questions about metastatic breast cancer from your family and friends, you may want to encourage them to turn to trusted online resources where they can learn more. A good place for them to start might be with common MBC terms and myths about MBC.
Breastcancer.org Community members with metastatic breast cancer also shared what they wish their friends knew about their diagnosis and situation. Other Stage IV Community members offered tips for caregivers.
Working with MBC
The effect of a breast cancer diagnosis on work life is different for every person. You may have an understanding supervisor, a flexible schedule, and an encouraging team to support you — or you may work somewhere where people are anything but supportive and encouraging. You may feel the need to work because you’re concerned about paying for treatment or you may want to keep working because you like your job. Still others may be wondering if and how to talk to their employer and coworkers about MBC.
“In working with people living with stage IV disease, there’s a constant conversation and struggle about whether to work or not,” says Rosalind Kleban, clinical supervisor and program coordinator at the Memorial Sloan-Kettering Evelyn H. Lauder Breast Center in New York City. “Part of the discussion that leans toward working is that it very often acts as a distraction, a way to be involved in things and people outside of the illness. I think that both sides of the equation should be looked at very seriously because work has some value for all of us — including people with an illness.”
Ultimately, you have to do what is right for you, your lifestyle, and your family. There is no one best way to manage the emotional, physical, and legal aspects of balancing your job and your treatment.
Kelly Grosklags, an experienced therapist who has worked with many people living with MBC, has been a guest on several episodes of The Breastcancer.org Podcast focusing on metastatic breast cancer, including managing the emotions of an MBC diagnosis and embracing what matters most after MBC.
— Last updated on August 30, 2025 at 12:42 PM